The Joker's Escape
by Scoureroflostsouls
Summary: Set right after The Dark Knight. Please don't ask me why the Joker wasn't sent straight to Arkham, I really don't know. The title kinda says it all...


"Dixon! You can guard the clown for now!" The new lieutenant howled at me and whirled away. Charming man, really. The clown, or "the Joker" had been dragged in here yesterday and was now in the MCU, we were busier than ever. We were now guarding this Joker guy twenty-four seven _and_ chasing Batman. I sighed and headed down the hallway to the Joker's cell. I had yet to guard him, but I'd heard stories, and stories of _his_ stories...like why he used a knife instead of a gun...Theo leaned out of a doorway;

"And don't let him have a phone call!"

"Yeah, yeah." I said, heading on. They'd found the Joker hanging upside down from a building at the docks - Batman's doing. Apparently he was just hanging there, laughing..As I got to the cell, Rameriez nodded at me, thankful that she was being relieved of duty. I stepped forward and looked through the bars. The Joker was sitting on the floor his back against the wall and seemed to be contentedly staring into space. His face paint was still on, and it looked fairly creepy. Then again, it was meant to look creepy. His scars were fairly clear, and it _did_ look like he was smiling. Rumours had flown everywhere as to how he'd got the scars. I sighed and sat down at the desk opposite the cell. He started humming a tune under his breath and licked the sides of his mouth every now and again, were the scars started. I had to hold myself back from copying him. The tune he was humming sounded suspiciously like 'here we got loopdy-loo, here we loopdy-lyde'....

"Coffee?" I glanced up to see Rakinson looking at me enquiringly.

"Um, sure." I said, nodding. He headed off, presumably, to get coffee. I glanced back at the Joker and jumped. He'd moved, not very far but he was looking at _me_ now. He licked the sides of his mouth, but said nothing. He stared at the floor. After a while he jerked, as if coming out of a trance or something. Another lick.

"Do you know why, I use a knife? Guns are too quick.."

He stopped when he saw me nodding.

"I've heard how you like to...er, 'savour the _little emotions'.."_

He chuckled quietly. And there was silence for a while..Rakinson came and went with the coffee. I was just about to start yawning when -

"Have you heard about the time I _lost_ my knife?"

"No." I answered, wondering whether I _wanted_ to hear this..

"Well...I was just getting ready to go out. And I couldn't find my knife...Just....lint." He paused shaking his head slowly and smiling slightly. This was obviously a pleasant trip down memory lane for him. I said nothing, waiting for his sick encore.

"So...I needed something fast..I didn't want a _gun_." He said, shaking his head in disgust as if repulsed by the idea. Suddenly I was having a flashback of the time an anti-gun committee picketed for three days outside my station, saying how guns are _wrong._

" I had to improvise.." the Joker continued "And I did."

"What did you use?" I asked. Stupid, I know, playing right into his hands. But, despite myself, I _did_ want to know..

He smiled wider, and the scars bunched up rising up his face, making his smile wider.

"Instead, I used a potato peeler."

" Potato peeler?" That couldn't kill anybody...particularly fast. I flinched. Death by potato peeler?

"And, you know?" The Joker continued, looking into space. I looked up from my visualisations.

"Nobody actually noticed.." He said, and did his licky-thing again.

All was quiet for the next little while. Then he stood up.

"Well, It's been fun and all, but now, I think it's time to say goodbye".

"What?" I started to say, when there was a huge explosion. I was knocked to the floor as plaster and rubble rained down on me. I looked up, the wall at one end of the cell was gone and people with clown masks flocked in, waving guns. The Joker stepped around me and took up his knives and lint at the other end of the room.

"Ah thank you." I heard him say faintly. I tried to struggle up, blinking plaster out of my eyes and coughing. I felt a hand under my chin lifting my head upwards. I made eye-contact with the Joker. He had something metal in his hand that shone when it caught the light. I gazed at it for a moment.

"Is that..?"

"Yes." The Joker said simply, whirling the potato peeler in his hand like a baton. He put it under my throat. I gulped at the feel of the cold metal against my vulnerable skin.

"Well.." The Joker said, grin wider than ever, "It's been fun......"

O_o The end o_O


End file.
